... sad ...

i finally got the rejection letter from dfs... sigh... guess i am just not gd enough... or maybe this is my karma for saying too mani lies coz of the stupid situation i am stucked with... guess right now i dun have a choice but to stay on with my present job... still can tahan for now... after all it is onli 3 weeks... will see how again....

eyes super pain + reddish now la.. dunno what stupid thing went into my eyes... recently my eyes are getting "polluted" easily... could be the mascara ba...

shall stop now.. need to wake up early for tuition later...

... lazy + aged + fats ...

onli going into the 3rd week of work n i am feeling all of the above... it is scary... so mani times i felt like blogging.. i can be even too lazy to switch on my lappy...

after going home from work... after i bathe and eat my dinner... it is 830pm already... after abit of surfin net n a bit of tv... it is time to hit for the bed... and the routine repeats... things onli slightly changes on fri evening... meeting up n chilling out with friends... TGIF... though i still can hardly find time with myself during the weekends...

my weekends are mostly dedicated to my tuitees n friends i realised... oh but i did some shopping for myself yesterday... needed more working clothes... but i realised they seemed nv enough...

expectedly... i still couldn take time to upload my photos this weekend... ahhhhh.... I MUST DO IT SOON!!!

must start exercising soon too... haven been exercising for ages... can feel all the fats le... yucks!

work tmr....... sianz.... but at least my monday blues felt tonight wasnt as intense as last sun night...

...djngkjankrnfkhgsnfmhnsm...

feeling veri gibberish right now... a lot of thoughts going thru my mind... but i just cant seem to pen them down properly... supposed to be in bed now... since i have tuition early tmr morning n late afternoon... but i guess the caffaine effect from the cafe latte earlier on hasn realli wear off yet... anyways... had a great peanut-shells-throwing session with the PaNdAnS plus Jennro & Yanjie at the Long Bar... sorry for bringing u all to a pub with slightly steeper prices in the drinks... coz tt is the onli one i can think of nearby... maybe we all should just stick back to our favourite Starbucks next time...

CoNVoCaTiOn!!!

running out of time... frantic... at a loss (nt sure what to do or where to go)... bored... fidgety... nervous... busy taking photos... HAPPY... finally tired...

basically... the above describes my feelings for 25th July 2008... the day of my convocation...

CoNGraTuLaTiOnS tO NTU MaTeRiaLs ScIeNcE & EnGiNeeRiNg cLaSs oF 2008!!!
It was a tough 4 years but WE HAVE MADE IT!!! HURRAY!!!

ThAnKs a MiLLiOn to JiNg iRiS LyDia & YuXiN for coming down to my convocation!!!
especially JiNg!!! So sweet of ya to give me a nice stalk of flower!!!
I am so touched to see you all there this afternoon!!!
Sorry if i have been neglecting u all coz i was running around n taking photos...
& sorry tt u all have to help me take photos with my fac mates too...
U all are simply the best!!! =D

i will add photos here as soon as i uploaded them.. my blog seems so boring with onli words...

... those were the days ...

it is amazing how much me and this grp of friends have chatted over supper for 2 consecutive nights... reminiscing the RV days... updatting one another about how the common friends are doing... suaning one another... basically... just chatted like no one's business... i think it is fun... i love meeting up with old friends n know how they have been doing... =)

another RV4J gathering coming up this sunday evening... i wonder how is the response this time... hope we are able to see those ppl whom we din see at the previous gathering...

... SwEeT ...

it is kind of sweet to receive concerns from someone whom u haven contact for a long while.. or whom u haven seen for a long time... esp when we were veri close when young... but time and age just pulled us apart unknowingly.. guess this is part n parcels of growing up...

anyway.. thanks lots Zhi for asking on me... after hearing what happened from ur mum... din get to see u during family lunch gathering last mth... hopefully we will able to see each other soon... =)

... 2nd thrashing out session...

all right... i have started talking to my mum a bit le... friendship recovered... misunderstanding cleared...

I guess ppl will tend to do things tt hurt ppl ard him/her unknowingly... a lot of times.. i try to be sensitive towards the ppl ard me.. however in the end i will unknowingly neglect some... i thought i was sensitive enough... but guess it turns out i wasnt...

anyway... i am also back to square one le.. in terms of job search... i rejected tt MA job this morning... sad but i have to... sigh... next week.. i must GANBATTE NE!!!!!

super broke... =(

... rebuttal ...

i am still quite sore abt what happened this morning... not becoz of the person... but becoz i felt accused.. betrayed.. n maybe backstabbed...

To: the person who blasted at me earlier on...

If i dun treat u as my friend.. why would i even bother to msn u to congrats u on getting a job??? n the best thing is.. u din even bother to reply... i know something is not right le... so i decided to sms u to ask u join us for lunch and not think too much... i wanted to know why u are reacting this way... and u told me i was shutted off from u and i treat u more of an acquaintance... i dun understand what i have done.. the onli thing i can thought of is tt i din tell u tt i am going taiwan with my friend.. but u r not the onli person i din say too.. zh din know either... so i asked you... then u blasted at me w/o telling me what i have done to make you feel tt way... fine... if i was insensitive as a friend.. have u thought abt urself??? if u haven... then i think it is time u think abt it too...

n the best thing is.. what u said have came true.. i can no longer treat u as a friend.. dun blame me for tt...

phew... finally let it off my chest... i am still not talking to my mum... i am still upset by her words... i know i shouldn.. but just let me be 任性 for a while k...

ThAnkS LoTsSsSsS peeps for accompany me for tonight...
thanks to Jing for eating dinner with me...
thanks to Jackson Charles Clarence & Bryan for the drinks & the chat... oh.. not to forget Bryan's nice story! hahaha... *wink*
thanks to the staff at Liquid Kitchen too.. so nice of them to treat me to cherry shots when they know i was sad... so touched...

so what is the use of msning me after saying so much harsh words...

... double blow ...

i dun mean to start my blog with such a note/tone.. but i think i should let everyone know how i feel...

i got a blow from my mum last night... within 24 hrs.. i got another from this friend of mine...

i received this sms from a friend (i wun mention who) this morning...

"I wun bear grudges n i dun mean to blast at u. I must say u r a really nice gal, but i hope u can be more sensitive when u treat ur friends. I am not talking abt me. Sometimes ur good friends are upset with u, they dun wan to risk their friendship to confront you, but yet they tell me abt it. What did i do? I keep putting good words for you till i am sian already."

I just wanna let all my friends know... if u are ever upset with me... pls confront me k... I feel that if there is no confrontation.. i wun know what is my problem.. i dun need anyone to put in good words for me...

i feel like an idiot...

sorry if i have made u all upset.. i know i haven been a very good friend...